2/2021 Playing with feminity


We have the year 2021 now, and the difference between the gender still cannot be compared with the perception of differences such as in hair colors. The Thatchers and Merkels remain a rarity in politics. Women in business are receiving on average lower salaries than those of us with „three legs“. On the other hand, rumors persist that it remains an unwritten lifestyle rule that the man will have to take the initiative on the first date and pays „in advance“.
It is pretty exciting that we can play with this phenomenon also when it comes to sexuality – and experience incredible effects with that role and its symbols. Those type of games are called „gender play“. This column won`t be about transsexuality.
Numerous websites of sex workers made us aware of the services provided by „shemales“, which are mainly known as „girls with cocks“. Those are men who come across – sometimes even without the prescription of hormones – as very androgynous and quite often actively delight their customers with their penises. The demand for those services is much higher than I would have expected earlier. This type of lifestyle falls into the category of long-term identification of gender and not into a playful category. It, therefore, deserves a chapter of its own. Instead, I would prefer to focus on what is happening to us in a typical domino studio; who is coming to us to be briefly „feminized“ and why?

Fetish in between genderplay and living out the feminine side 
I reached out to my female colleagues and obtained their feedback for this specific column. Thank you again to Kristina Marlen, Sara Blume, and Kim Wagner. It is a fact that male sex workers relatively rarely receive the request for (forced) feminization unless they support a female colleague with carrying out the penetration. This circumstance also makes sense since the majority of the target group of the male gay sex workers probably stole their other`s nightgowns out of the closet from time to time when they were in puberty and proudly marched up and down with it. The latest gay coming-out-group members tend to behave quite openly, a little feminine from time to time, and some gay men even give their buddies women`s names.
Furthermore, gay men are also highly aware of their feminity primarily because of their sexual socialization, even when they don`t play with, flirt, or entertain it. This differentiates them from the heterosexual man, who still considers it as one of the biggest taboos to live out someone`s feminine side. The second target group of the male sex worker is the woman, which doesn’t touch feminization due to naturally. But „masculinization“ of women should be mentioned in a lesbian context. It looks damn hot between you and me since gay guys quite often serve as role models here. But this article is all about feminization, and let`s, therefore, have a closer look at the following:

Let`s start with men, who understand feminization as a unique form of humiliation and consequently derive pleasure from it. This is pretty easy to understand, even if it might sound insanely paradoxical at the same time. But a man who feels uncomfortable in a woman`s mini skirt and a woman’s wig on his head will experience this form of humiliation in a positive and not negative way, such as a masochist who is in pain. In practice, this would, for example, include a woman who first forces a man to put on killer high heels and then laughs at him. I have received this request myself a couple of times, but rather relatively rarely, I have to say. But I was hired quite often to put gay men down because of their sexuality. It is irrelevant that I am into men myself with this form of humiliation, which is a form of humiliation that enables someone to come to terms with their sexuality. The overall act is considered a step towards, which positively affects something negatively experienced. But this particular form of shock therapy is not suitable for everyone. Therefore, please refer to another man as a „cock-sucking faggot“ only if he clearly and unmistakably requests it.

Do you desire to be a total bitch?
The wearing of suspenders & Co as a form of humiliation is diametrically opposed to the fetishist: The Women`s Lingerie Wearer (WLW for short).
As the word „Fetishism“ clearly defines, the attraction focuses on the actual object; this means that the man generally perceives lingerie as very attractive, while the woman’s role is not that important here. Instead, it is a more robust expression of fetishism that, for example, that someone finds nylons so hot that he would like to feel them on his own body. Sometimes it seems funny when the WLW has renounced all female behavior patterns: Therefore, WLW may trample around in his high heels and nylons like a farmer. But when that actually matters to him, and he moves like a woman or even wants to learn that skill, we speak of a crossdresser. One of the indispensables characteristics of a crossdresser is his heterosexuality; this term arose after society assigned the term transvestite to gay men in women`s clothes in the 1960s. The heterosexual man aimed to acquire his expression for the desire to wear female clothes. Therefore, the crossdresser and the transvestite have not a sexual orientation but the preference of the process of transformation in common. The focus is here on really „being a woman“, therefore both parties can be described as fetishists, but they don`t have to be actual fetishists. From someone`s perspective, the dominatrix takes over a somewhat atypical role in this context, suddenly whips & co are not required anymore, but it becomes all about makeup tips. Many customers also need transformation as a particular form of compulsion since the compulsion releases the customer from the personal responsibility to break this real taboo.
An increased form of the transvestite and the crossdresser is the drag, which is usually not sexually justified and instead serves to express artistic content. The undisputed top dog here is, for example, Jurassica Parka from Berlin. Drags have shared with me that the created personality is not sexual. As for the actual appearance, someone is usually playing with his transformation to a usually exaggerated female figure.

Do you want to be a Sissi?
One of the most exciting and curious phenomena in the domino studio is men’s transformation into so-called Sissi. Visually the Sissi usually appears with pigtails, ruffles, and in a somewhat eccentric child-woman wardrobe, in other words: a typical Lolita. That look sometimes makes someone smile, when for example, a 50 years old overweight man in a pink tutu and pigtails curtsies and seriously takes on and enjoys this role. But as long as the man wants this transformation, I am OK with supporting him. The games with those predominantly straight men in those outfits focus on the upbringing of those girls. They are also considered as age plays and can be sexual, but they don`t have to be. It is somewhat more about raising this girl and punishing it; for example, if it fails to do something correctly, then the consequence might be beating the cock with the whip. The dominant woman takes on the role of the mother or strict governess. The Sissi is due to her infantility, easy to distinguish from the other forms of feminization.

© Thore Rehbach

A short trip into a new sexual world
We come across the term „Maid“ at the dominatrix studio quite often, which belonged to the servants of the nobility in the middle ages. But a maid is compared with a slave not without rights and is also not infantile like a Sissi. A maid doesn`t meet her mistress or master on eye level, but she can define herself, how and where she can be of best support and assistance. A maid can also be usually of service sexually if it is desired. All roles have in common that the actual „position“ is only assumed for a short period and that the client can return to his original male role afterward again. Of course, it is possible that such a short-term relationship grows and continues with an entire trans identity being discovered. Still, most of our visitors are usually „short term vacationers“.
The smooth transition to „maid“ is the whore, slut, or whatever names come to our mind, which can describe a „woman“ coming across as cheap and dressing accordingly. Indeed not many women correspond to this picture in reality since, according to the customer`s dreams, those little „sluts“ are supposed to bring in money for their pimps (played by the dominatrixes) and find themselves in the perfect victim role. This is where the male sex workers become so relevant, who will fuck them hard. I quite often experience the fantasy of the „whore“ in gay men, who will, however, stay in their roles as the man then.

The desire to be a slut!
It is exciting that even straight guys still feel heterosexual while they suck dicks and let themselves be fucked since the actual „Homo-Act“ is performed in the role of a „woman“. This idea might be amusing and make some of us smile, but it seems logical at the same time. As a rule, in every dominatrix studio, the largest box labeled with „Straps-ons“ will usually be opened, while the „woman“ fucks the guys herself with plastic dildos.
In more extended gender plays, so-called „penis cages“ are used quite a lot. Penis cages support the female role entirely since more „emasculation“ is hardly possible with the man being forcefully restricted to being a bottom and the sexual „freedom of responsibility“ additionally being supported by the „not allowed to cum“ rule. Incidentally, it is not uncommon that the feminized person suddenly desires to be active himself and wants to take on the penetrating person’s role, which is often the case with WLWs, crossdressers and transvestites.
What are the motives for heterosexual men going to dominatrixes for feminization? One of the most relevant reasons is that a woman belongs to the actual sexual target group for a straight man. Women are also considered in society and principle as more tolerant and being in the position to legalize the „perverse desire“ of the customer. And if a man favors passive penetration, he can accept the penetration easier in the role of a woman and take it physically.
While the gay man identifies as a woman in his socialization, someone has to understand the approach from a straight man’s perspective that due to his transition, the woman is considered the „weaker gender“. Therefore a „short vacation in a woman`s shell“ enables the heterosexual man to be finally „weak“ himself. It is logical that in addition to feminity, additional suitable role models are chosen. Those are related to infantility, disenfranchisement, or abuse, which enhance the overall experience. Being a female victim allows someone to fly away from all pressure to make relevant decisions and contrary to nature and defined by society as the „top sexuality“, enjoy the possibility to experience yourself crystal clear as a bottom.

…and that`s a good thing.

Author: Dominus Berlin
The background pictures for this article were created in collaboration with the Hamburger Drag-Diva Chantal Chaud.

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