„BDSM Beginner“ published 05/2023 in the magazine HIM 

BDSM Beginner With Stamina

There he stands in front of me. Naked and nervous, his hands dutifully behind his back as requested. Fynn – slender body, pierced nipples and tattooed chest – is 48 years old, but right now, standing here in front of me, he becomes fresh meat. It’s his first visit with me, a BDSM beginner. He looks at me with wide eyes, a little unsure, like a deer caught in the headlights. I smile encouragingly. A little fear is allowed – it even enhances the play – but panic, on the other hand, spoils it. That’s where balance comes in, something you learn over time.

The power imbalance between us was already clarified at the door – the way I prefer it. After a session with me, I usually have a conversation at eye level, where we can get to know each other. But at the beginning, I don’t want to interrupt your psychological and literal kneeling by unnecessary socializing. You never get a second chance for a first impression – and you’ll experience me right from the start as it is good for you: dominant, masculine and strong.

I’m always aware that for the vast majority of you it’s been a long road of inner struggle until you finally stand or kneel before me, ready for the step into the hot BDSM world. I like to say: „Live forward with me and understand backward with a therapist or friends“ – not why you come to me is what matters to me, but that you are here with me now.

The game begins…

And it’s exactly in these first moments of our game that I like to look into the eyes of my opponent – and the ideas flood my head. When I become aware of myself, what I’m doing here, when you become aware of the situation you’re in right now – that’s when the beautiful moment begins, when peckers start to twitch or pussies get wet.

The eyes of my little BDSM beginner glide a little anxiously back and forth between me and my „workplace“. All the erotic-creepy toys and tools are in sight and Fynn’s eyes linger on the St. Andrew’s cross. My smile widens and the Dom in me blossoms.

I’m a very open person who likes to talk about his job and sexuality. In my Berlin bubble I’m surrounded by many open people. That’s why it’s always something very special for me when I meet clients who have been working out their BDSM or fetish desires exclusively with themselves for years. That’s totally okay with me and I feel honored when someone wants to lose their „virginity“ with me.

11th commandment: The right way to contact an SM Master

There are also very few questions before a session with me that I’d like to banish for all eternity. I don’t like to be asked how much XY costs. As a hooker I have a high price and I’m not willing to promise you a milliliter of sperm in relation to the Euros you are willing to put on the table. Especially since, in my experience, the lower the budget and the greedier the bargain hunting, the higher the attitude of entitlement.

The good old „Can I ask you a question?“ NLP technique makes me roll my eyes intensely. Just tell me straight out what brings you to me, what interests you, or what parts of my work you want to connect with.

And last but not least, I would like to discourage the question „So, what exactly is going to happen?“ – in the sense of ‚to you‘ and ‚with me‘. I like to hear myself babble, but I don’t give clear descriptions by email or phone. On the one hand I don’t want to be a free jerk-off fantasy, on the other hand there’s just so much going on with me that there is no standard procedure.

What I want to hear more than anything else is what kind of messes are in YOUR head, what YOU deeply desire. From these individual ingredients I’ll put together something awesome from the world of BDSM and fetish and you will get so much more than just a long list of theoretical possibilities – you can count on it.

Scene reenacted with fetish model Boundeagle (Yaz)

BDSM fantasies become reality

But if you’re not used to it, sometimes it’s really hard to put your wishes into words. Fynn’s ideas were also quite unclear, which is not unusual for a beginner. He wanted to be dominated, but from pet play to bondage, from humiliation to chastity, everything was in his fantasies. For me this is more than ok, because: Now I have the choice!

I approach Fynn, confidently take over his intimacy and run my leather-gloved hand over his head. I finish the gesture with a tender, firm grip on his neck and blindfold him. Now he is completely at my mercy and with a firm grip I guide him where I want him. When his body touches the cross of St. Andrew, a slight tremor runs through him. My voice is soft but firm and clear.

When people have experienced little touch of this kind before, they often react more strongly. And I enjoy exploring a body that has rarely been touched before. I love it when my clients trust me completely and surrender – and Fynn, fittingly, gives me complete control.

While I touch the sensitive parts of the newcomer in front of me for the first time with gentle pressure, I enjoy the little sighs and moans from his side. I stroke his arm from armpit to wrist, he obediently follows my unspoken request and stretches out his arm – ready for the first chain. I check to see if it fits well, and I like the rattling sound even more, knowing how much more intense all these sensations must sound to my newly blind counterpart.

A BDSM beginner discovers his passion

In the following I feel how much he enjoys the moments of my closeness and how this excites him even more than playing with his body. The boot licking becomes more of a „cuddling my boots“. When he kneels in front of me, tied up, he begs me to let him rest his head on my leather pants. He just wants to be with me. To feel masculine strength and to lean against me.

To my delight, Fynn is especially talented at my favorite game of presenting – he has to present himself in various provocative poses, like on tiptoe with his legs spread to show his butt hole. And he does a damn good job. „Well, the guys without bellies have less weight to carry – I couldn’t do that,“ I think with a grin. He’s also great at lying on his back and curling up into a little „fuck bun“. I love this position, how the anal opening of the body is dramatically erotic.

I notice how the different positions strain him, how he has to fight against the physical tension, how his muscles burn and especially how he overcomes himself for me again and again. How he wants to please me, how he follows my instructions as precisely as possible. The endurance for me excites him, his cock stands up.

My play partners don’t have to offer me the highest possible limits or certain – because playing at the limit is always hot, no matter where it is exactly. It turns me on to experience how a core element of Fynn’s erotic fantasies – devotion, endurance, being there for me – breaks through more and more.

Scene reenacted with fetish model Boundeagle (Yaz)

When stamina is put to the test

For our next meeting, I suggest a particularly subtle, yet deeply arousing way of playing: He can be my piece of furniture, the storage table for my glass and ashtray – silent, absorbed, devoted – while I immerse myself in my book. For dinner there will be sushi, and Fynn can make himself useful as my plate.

Such games sometimes look very simple from the outside and may be easy to play in the first moments – but if the duration of the degradation to a furniture object exceeds a certain time, it goes to everyone’s reserves and costs enormous strength and stamina. My little newcomer proved to me today that he seems to have the basic will to persevere. But constant dripping wears away the stone.

How my game with Fynn played out, you’ll get to read in the next column…