loader image

02/2018 Findom and Cashslavery

Findom, or „The Special Sexual Attractiveness of „Money Bondage“. In my long career as a Dominus, I’ve rarely had to discuss a sexual game so frequently and intensively, because many people turn up their noses at findom and cashslavery and reflexively push them into the criminal realm. Let’s take a look at the classic course of such a game to see how it works and what the motivations are.

How findom happens

Findom is usually a facet in a live action, but is given more of a secondary role, or provides the framework – or introduction – to the session. I haven’t yet experienced a live session that focuses exclusively on cashslavery or Findom. But that might be a matter of taste, because for me personally it would be a bit too little action. You can read a real report from one of my cash slaves on my StudioLux website.

An online game is more suitable for this topic, because money hurts more virtually compared to all other sex games. You can concentrate on this facet of sexuality and not be distracted by physical things. While the human being can do good or bad to you physically, money always remains a purely mental matter – unless you cut yourself on the paper. 😉

The passive person sends appropriate signals in a conversation. Key words here are „piggy bank,“ „money slave,“ „rip-off,“ and so on. Like a woman’s miniskirt, these words are a beacon the active person notices. To the skeptic, let me say that just like few wear a miniskirt „because it’s so warm,“ these expressions and/or topics are rarely used and discussed because one simply wants to „talk about it“.

The active person now has to look for the „hook“. What is it that the man is „afraid of“ and whose agony to live through gives him such an intense sexual excitement and at the same time gives the active person the power to blackmail. This can be a private or professional exposure: His wife or employer finds out about his homosexual activities, and the mere act of being „stolen from“ is often sexually arousing.

Now, if not before, the skeptics are clenching their fists in anger: „Nobody can find such a thing acceptable!“ My dear „tolerant fellow citizens“: The heterosexual man’s toenails formally roll up at the thought of stroking hairy men’s legs, yet the gay desire is there, effective for centuries and now socially acceptable. Even the dumbest heterosexual farmer has now realized that sexuality is more than a little vaginal penetration by candlelight.

Motivation underneath findom and cashslavery

Even if we aren’t always aware of it, we’re often stuck in fictional or real roles: The Doer, the Little Mouse, the Giver, the Tender, the Innocent, the Victim, the Tough Guy… Everyone likes to go through all these roles during erotic play. Usually it’s about the tension between power and powerlessness.

Whether someone comes to me and lets me tie him to the St. Andrew’s cross, or allows me to play effectively with his fears virtually by revealing his TAN list, the principle is always the same: the other person can then feel like a helpless victim, like a puppet in a game where the active one has the power and the passive one does not (anymore).

Of course, the intensity of the effect of any game increases with its claim to realism. What makes the findom game realistic? The money factor, of course. Not only does the loss of money hurt the passive player a bit, it is also an additional incentive for the active player.

Now back to the process. Most of the time you don’t have to do a lot of research, but at some point you’ll get this virtual bondage instrument for free from the passive, because the passive wants to lie in these „bonds“.

Important are real facts – mostly in the form of defamatory photos, private data, account numbers, TAN lists, etc. Yes, it seems paradoxical, but you can get this evidence relatively quickly. I usually ask for it under some other pretext. Once the trap is set, the real game begins.

Then you play nicely with your victim, like a cat that has caught a mouse alive. If the social context makes you anxious, then you talk about what the woman might say when she sees the pictures, when I show them to her. If the rip-off is too much for you, you can order the other person to transfer the money to your own account while watching on teamviewer.

Gifts and findom

By the way, the people who constantly give you money as a sign of appreciation don’t belong directly in this category – but the terms are similar (e.g. paying pigs, „online slaves“). Here, too, money flows for seemingly little service (the dominant sends photos or shows himself via cam, for example), but no „coercive situation“ is created.

That said, women usually master the game of findom and cashslavery a bit better. I always like to listen to my female colleagues: „You can be glad that I show myself to you at all!“ Only after a certain time, when the cult around the dominant person is so high and the slaves could compete with the Beatles fans of the 60s, then they become pay pigs and headless. You could then drive them to ruin. Usually this doesn’t happen.

To be on the safe side, the passive should take a close look at who he is entrusting with this power. On the street, would you let the person you were playing with hold your wallet so you could tie your shoes? If not, don’t trust them with your most daring online games. The number of references, the age of the profile, etc. also give you an idea about the seriousness of a person.

I, on the other hand, always save the conversations and chats to give myself a bit of legal security. Any idiot can see from the transcripts that the passive has induced this game on purpose. But just as no spanking fan ever complained about a red bottom, no findom victim ever complained about losing money. The only reaction a few weeks later is an attempted contact from the passive with a request for a replay. That’s how it is when the goal is achieved.

Want to read more? Here is a blog of one of our partners.

05/2023 The BDSM Game Of Stamina

Fynn is new to BDSM, but his motivation is clear: to serve me. In doing so, he shows an appealing stamina…

04/2023 BDSM Beginner With Stamina

"BDSM Beginner" published 05/2023 in the magazine HIM  BDSM Beginner With Stamina There he stands in front of me. Naked and nervous, his hands dutifully behind his back as requested. Fynn – slender body, pierced nipples and tattooed chest – is 48 years old, but right...

04/2023 Interview With „Schwulissimo“ About Sex Work & BDSM

The Dominus in a candid interview with the high-circulation magazine Schwulissimo. Read my thoughts on sex work, morality and the reputation of BDSM within the LGBTI* community.

03/2023 Male Dominance – Cliché and Tipps

Male dominance oscillates between applause and rejection. Dominant women tend to be celebrated, but a woman may not want to take the submissive position. My thoughts in this brief blog.

03/2023 A flashback to 2016 – My first set card at a domina studio

When I think about how many BDSM profiles I’ve created all over Germany… Phew. So let’s flashback to 2016: This is the very first set card I made for a dominatrix studio. Take a look!

03/2023 List Of My Preferred Games As A Dom

Looking for a Berlin Dom and curious about what I offer? Here is a quick and clear overview of games I enjoy as a Dom as well as my hard limits.

02/2023 Sex Work – Looking Back On 10 Years

Looking back after 10 years, two of them under Corona, I focus on queer sex work, give concrete numbers and highlight the danger of the sex purchase ban, with comments from Kristina Marlen and queer activist Margot Schlönzke.

10/2022 What Is Spanking

Why is spanking one of my favorite practices? What excites me so much about spanking willing butts to increase the pleasure of both play partners?

08/2022 Straight Men Belong on a Leash!

Straight men belong on a leash! At least that’s what my very straight guest craves. Discover how our very first session plays out…

11/2021 A Ds Couple in the Chains of a Sling

Watching a master and his slave in the sling? Not something I do often. I definitely prefer private sessions. But sometimes, a DS couple comes to me and I provide new ideas… with Tom and Kai, I used the sling to its full potential.

This will interest you:

09/2017 Full-Time Slavery

Submitting to a master for hours, days, or weeks at a time is the dream of many slaves. However, full-time slavery comes with its own ... More

02/2021 Feminization and Gender Play

What is feminization, what types of feminization are there and what attracts heterosexual men a genderplay with dominas? My female ... More

03/2019 Sheer Sox – Nylons For The Man

It's crazy nice how many fetishes there are. A demand for Sheer Sox is rare, but for Peter, they are a must in every meeting with me... More

11/2020 Sex Work In Germany: We Need To Talk!

Germany keeps trying to eradicate sex work, most recently brazenly under the guise of the Corona crisis. My opinion? Discrimination! More