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01/2020 Power Games – Risky and rewarding

Klicke hier, um die deutsche Version zu lesen: 01/2020 Machtspiele

Power games – certainly not a new topic since it somehow affects every BDSM session, even if you meet at eye level. If I have someone tied to the St. Andrew’s cross hanging in front of me, he’s at my mercy, even if we have agreed on the exact situation: From that point on, I can do whatever I want.

The dominus on the cover of BOX Magazin, sitting on a golden throne in full leather outfit, a lopsided grin and looking directly into the camera. If my little diaper boy is with me, then Daddy has the power to free him from his pee in the baby cage by wiping his baby cock, while the recruit has to bow to the orders of the sergeant … Or another exciting example: Siegfried. He’s a man, or rather a lover, of doing it „old school“, so we create a situation, which is hard to imagine in the age of helicopter mothers and in which I’m in charge as Mr. Teacher. If he doesn’t recite what I want to hear, he gets a cane on his fingers or has to stand in a corner with a paper bag and show his bare ass to the class. Wearing my military uniform as a sergeant, I have power over every bodily movement of my recruit and if they don’t obey, they’ll get a boot on the neck. As a bizarre doctor, I usually don’t even have to tie him up, because the God in White is always „omnipotent“.

Power games with death

Wilfried always asks my passive colleague to play dead. Then he carries him around the room, sniffs him, and then, without hesitation, looks between his legs and does it on his sagging, huge dick. Why does Wilfried do this? Because he wants to feel complete power – and a „dead man“ will not resist. An artistic collage of the dominus in colour, sitting amongst a throng of devotees in black and white and all states of dress, fetish gear or undress.

Why are power games so popular?

But what are power games? What is behind power games? Why do people willingly give up power? One of the biggest clichés is that top managers are always dominas because top managers are so eager to give up responsibility. Well, that’s true, but I can say with the utmost certainty that even the unemployed or the stress-free Berlin artist with his minimal monthly paycheck from Daddy wants to indulge this need to „give up responsibility“. In fact, however, the better earners usually belong to our clients, because with a standard rate of 250€/h, it is now many times more for the average earner. That’s why I don’t like this top-manager cliché because in my opinion it also serves to elevate the one or other less successful dominatrix or to make our profession salon-worthy, which is a good effect. So why does everyone want to give up responsibility and enjoy power games? Answer: because it’s not so easy to get out of these roles even after work. Visiting a dominant sex worker gives you a break, a reset of events, and a clean reboot.

The dominus standing in the middle of a room fit for a king, leaning casually against a decorated wall in front of a beautiful, big mirror, looking sternly at the viewer. Somehow I always feel that a valve has been opened in myself and in my clients. Away from all the decisions, sorting the environment, and prioritizing. For once, we’re not „creating something from within“, but „letting something emerge from within“. What our clients have in common is that they’re all strong people. Someone who has been pushed around a lot in their life, who constantly falls into a kind of victim role, is actually never with us. I’d rather say that weak people don’t like power games.

„Schwache mögen keine Machtspiele“

What about the active side? Are we, by inference, the weak? Answer: no. In dominant sex work, I always meet strong people of both genders. This is also necessary because we have to differentiate ourselves. Probably nobody is really surprised when I say that I have some female colleagues as well as male colleagues as clients. I see this as proof that we „commercial dominants“ are very aware of power games and powerlessness. It’s similar to psychologists. Uncle Rudi (God rest his soul) used to say: „Psychologists are all crazy themselves because they all have a psychologist who has to treat them again.“ In my younger years, I was inclined to follow this logic. This is of course nonsense because a good psychologist is aware of their own psychological construction and is more likely to seek another psychologist to work objectively and effectively on their own issues. Because my last relationship breakup was so sudden and so bad, I also went to see a psychologist. She cleared things up quite well. Interestingly enough, many psychologists are also clients of mine. With them, I quite enjoy the great mind games we can implement. If the psychologist is aware of his emotional strengths and weaknesses, he can play with them sexually and enjoy the positive effects of these games. It is the same with us sex workers because we’re aware of every single sexually based emotion through intensive practice. Or we experience new ideas through clients and absorb them for ourselves. For sexual people, these new ideas are like a walk in a beautiful garden, in contrast to those puritanical Birkenstock chickens who are currently demonstrating against prostitution.

If you’re aware of your emotional strengths and weaknesses, you can also play with them sexually and enjoy the positive effects of these games.

Freedom through power games

But I digress – back to power and powerlessness. Back to power games. What effects do Wilfried and I enjoy? Well, despite being commissioned by the client, I always have a large playing field on which I can spread out. I enjoy that at some point in the power shift, the space is filled with my sexual self, my thoughts are realized, and my desires are in focus. I feel free. Yes, I feel free when the other is tied up.

02/2024 Meeting THE Dominus

Recently, Master and I where in Berlin where we had the honor of meeting THE Dominus, Master André. This made me nervous as hell. But not only that, also that we where invited at his place and later, I would end up totally vulnerable and exposed in front of two leather Doms…

01/2024 Fucking Principles – who’s topping who and why?

We have certain patriarchal stereotypical principles within us, reproduce them and also repeatedly inserting ourselves, our sexual partners and our environment. But where do these stereotypes come from?

11/2023 Penis Pump: Total Loss of Control

However I pleased, I kept pumping his cock to the maximum, teasing and fondling it, letting him „cool down“ again and then also caressed him from time to time. His cock, his pleasure, whether he was allowed to cum or not: all of that belonged to me.

09/2023 Starting out as a (male) sex worker

My crucial (cross-gender) tip for beginners in sex work: I always try to go into a sexual flow and have fun with the job – no matter how the meeting develops. That keeps people coming back, because clients want real feelings – not just actions.

Discrimination: Why I WILL NOT attend Folsom 2023

It’s really fascinating how every time there’s a need to „clean up“ in sex positive spheres, they start with the hookers first.

05/2023 The BDSM Game Of Stamina

Fynn is new to BDSM, but his motivation is clear: to serve me. In doing so, he shows an appealing stamina…

04/2023 BDSM Beginner With Stamina

"BDSM Beginner" published 05/2023 in the magazine HIM  Klicke hier, um die deutsche Version zu lesen: 04/2023 BDSM Anfänger mit Durchhaltevermögen   BDSM Beginner With Stamina There he stands in front of me. Naked and nervous, his hands dutifully behind his back...

04/2023 Interview With „Schwulissimo“ About Sex Work & BDSM

The Dominus in a candid interview with the high-circulation magazine Schwulissimo. Read my thoughts on sex work, morality and the reputation of BDSM within the LGBTI* community.

03/2023 Male Dominance – Cliché and Tipps

Male dominance oscillates between applause and rejection. Dominant women tend to be celebrated, but a woman may not want to take the submissive position. My thoughts in this brief blog.

03/2023 A flashback to 2016 – My first set card at a domina studio

When I think about how many BDSM profiles I’ve created all over Germany… Phew. So let’s flashback to 2016: This is the very first set card I made for a dominatrix studio. Take a look!

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