Klicke hier, um die deutsche Version zu lesen: 01/2020 Machtspiele
Power games – certainly not a new topic since it somehow affects every BDSM session, even if you meet at eye level. If I have someone tied to the St. Andrew’s cross hanging in front of me, he’s at my mercy, even if we have agreed on the exact situation: From that point on, I can do whatever I want.
If my little diaper boy is with me, then Daddy has the power to free him from his pee in the baby cage by wiping his baby cock, while the recruit has to bow to the orders of the sergeant … Or another exciting example: Siegfried. He’s a man, or rather a lover, of doing it „old school“, so we create a situation, which is hard to imagine in the age of helicopter mothers and in which I’m in charge as Mr. Teacher. If he doesn’t recite what I want to hear, he gets a cane on his fingers or has to stand in a corner with a paper bag and show his bare ass to the class. Wearing my military uniform as a sergeant, I have power over every bodily movement of my recruit and if they don’t obey, they’ll get a boot on the neck. As a bizarre doctor, I usually don’t even have to tie him up, because the God in White is always „omnipotent“.
Power games with death
Wilfried always asks my passive colleague to play dead. Then he carries him around the room, sniffs him, and then, without hesitation, looks between his legs and does it on his sagging, huge dick. Why does Wilfried do this? Because he wants to feel complete power – and a „dead man“ will not resist. 
Why are power games so popular?
But what are power games? What is behind power games? Why do people willingly give up power? One of the biggest clichés is that top managers are always dominas because top managers are so eager to give up responsibility. Well, that’s true, but I can say with the utmost certainty that even the unemployed or the stress-free Berlin artist with his minimal monthly paycheck from Daddy wants to indulge this need to „give up responsibility“. In fact, however, the better earners usually belong to our clients, because with a standard rate of 250€/h, it is now many times more for the average earner. That’s why I don’t like this top-manager cliché because in my opinion it also serves to elevate the one or other less successful dominatrix or to make our profession salon-worthy, which is a good effect. So why does everyone want to give up responsibility and enjoy power games? Answer: because it’s not so easy to get out of these roles even after work. Visiting a dominant sex worker gives you a break, a reset of events, and a clean reboot.
Somehow I always feel that a valve has been opened in myself and in my clients. Away from all the decisions, sorting the environment, and prioritizing. For once, we’re not „creating something from within“, but „letting something emerge from within“. What our clients have in common is that they’re all strong people. Someone who has been pushed around a lot in their life, who constantly falls into a kind of victim role, is actually never with us. I’d rather say that weak people don’t like power games.„Schwache mögen keine Machtspiele“
What about the active side? Are we, by inference, the weak? Answer: no. In dominant sex work, I always meet strong people of both genders. This is also necessary because we have to differentiate ourselves. Probably nobody is really surprised when I say that I have some female colleagues as well as male colleagues as clients. I see this as proof that we „commercial dominants“ are very aware of power games and powerlessness. It’s similar to psychologists. Uncle Rudi (God rest his soul) used to say: „Psychologists are all crazy themselves because they all have a psychologist who has to treat them again.“ In my younger years, I was inclined to follow this logic. This is of course nonsense because a good psychologist is aware of their own psychological construction and is more likely to seek another psychologist to work objectively and effectively on their own issues. Because my last relationship breakup was so sudden and so bad, I also went to see a psychologist. She cleared things up quite well. Interestingly enough, many psychologists are also clients of mine. With them, I quite enjoy the great mind games we can implement. If the psychologist is aware of his emotional strengths and weaknesses, he can play with them sexually and enjoy the positive effects of these games. It is the same with us sex workers because we’re aware of every single sexually based emotion through intensive practice. Or we experience new ideas through clients and absorb them for ourselves. For sexual people, these new ideas are like a walk in a beautiful garden, in contrast to those puritanical Birkenstock chickens who are currently demonstrating against prostitution.
If you’re aware of your emotional strengths and weaknesses, you can also play with them sexually and enjoy the positive effects of these games.
Freedom through power games
But I digress – back to power and powerlessness. Back to power games. What effects do Wilfried and I enjoy? Well, despite being commissioned by the client, I always have a large playing field on which I can spread out. I enjoy that at some point in the power shift, the space is filled with my sexual self, my thoughts are realized, and my desires are in focus. I feel free. Yes, I feel free when the other is tied up.